i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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