you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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