he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
