yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize