Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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