forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We're too hungover to prance.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
