and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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