My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
