i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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