i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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