I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
