You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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