I'm so fucking centered right now
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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