Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
