sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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