I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
