How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
