Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
