Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize