I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
