it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
