what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
