that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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