my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
