he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
