Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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