fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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