why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
