The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
