My brain says no but my pants say off.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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