I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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