She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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