After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
