Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
