butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i out mim tonsoeep
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
