The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
