He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
