Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize