We got so high we made milksteak
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
