We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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