i don't like sucking hair
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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