idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
