Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
