He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
