how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
