If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
