I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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