All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
