Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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