worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
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You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
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so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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