Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
