We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
