Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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