do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
How's work?
Spinning.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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