The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I can't turn off my feet"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
