1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
