May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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