I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
