Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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