Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
