There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
