apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I will be naked everywhere
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
