Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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