I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
