Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
